They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
