Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
