were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
