I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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