I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
