you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
