No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
