just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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