i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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