tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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