What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
