Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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