they need to just BURY HIM!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
