She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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