I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
