shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
