Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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