I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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