Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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