It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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