i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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