I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
