dude i'm inner monologue high
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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