Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
