so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
