It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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