Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
