Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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