the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
