Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
