Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
