I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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