there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
