now i know why i became what i already was.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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