Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
