It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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