NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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