new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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