he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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