She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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