If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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