You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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