I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just high enough for therapy.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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