like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
