none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
