Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
