please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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