I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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