yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
