I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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