We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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