Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
