I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
