mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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