I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
