we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
