but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
then he tried to convert me to islam
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
